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The title of the post may seem very unusual. But it is about a very important thing, I have noticed in life. Many a times, we will be facing some situations where we want to say ‘No’, but could not do so. In fact, it no is one of the most three difficult words people do not want to say. Let me analyze this in some detail. Suppose a very close friend of mine asks me for my car on a particular day. I know that this guy does not handle cars properly and I am reluctant to give it him. But he is a very good friend of mine. What shall I do? Many questions pop out of my mind and I will be in a situation where I have to take either of the decisions – to give the car or say no.

I have seen that most of the people would choose the option #1. This is not because they care for the friend, but they are unable to say no. There will be multiple contradictory thoughts in our mind. Now think of the other side, when you say no. Your friend will feel disappointed. He may not talk to you anything for some days. But that is fine. I have experienced this in life. When I said no to a friend, he did not say anything and just left the place. But after a couple of days, we were again back to the normal. After all, we are friends.

When you say no, it matters a lot on how you say no. As far as I have seen, simply saying ‘No’ is the best approach. Nothing more and nothing less. Do not try to justify your words with some explanations. This will give the other party a feeling that you are feeling guilty. If the other party asks again, simply repeat ‘No’. Remember that we can not please everyone, every time.

When I started my career, I said a couple of ‘No’s in office. Then my boss advised me to not to say ‘No’ every time  in your official life.  He told me that I should never say ‘No’ but should say ‘Conditional Yes’. This was one of the valuable advice I have got. I have noticed that saying ‘No’ in your office can negatively affect your career growth. But as my boss told me, saying conditional yes (a nice way to say ‘No’) is very effective. You can Google for some expert advice on how to say no.

Thank you for your time.